We all strive for a balanced life—me included. As a therapist, I work hard to balance the intellectual and creative sides of who I am. The intellectual, “thinking” part shines in sessions, but I also need to nurture my creative side to feel grounded and fulfilled. A few years ago, I discovered my passion for pottery, and it quickly became more than just a hobby. It became a metaphor for living. Pottery has taught me valuable lessons and has deeply enriched my work as a trauma therapist. With that, I’m excited to introduce you to Centered Self Trauma Therapy!

Throwing Pottery as a Metaphor for Life

First: Get Centered!

You can't create on the pottery wheel until your clay is centered. This is a powerful metaphor for life. If your clay wobbles, it's hard to shape it into a cylinder. Similarly, if you're not centered due to anxiety, PTSD, or depression, achieving your goals becomes difficult. You might get close, but the result could be flimsy or crooked. A key point about centering is that it is a FELT SENSE more than just a visual sense. Sometimes I close my eyes to feel whether the clay is centered and evenly spinning in my hand. If I only trust my visual judgment, the lines on the clay could be off center making it difficult to know if the clay is truly centered. Don’t be so quick to trust your visual judgment on something. What you’re seeing may not be the whole picture. Ask yourself how something FEELS to you. You may be surprised how much nonverbal information your body is giving you.

Second: Patience!

You can't hurry when working with clay. You must learn patience, breathe, and be intentional. The wheel's speed can't be too fast, or SPLAT! My mentor said, "Your clay is responding to you." Put love, patience, and appreciation into your piece, and the clay responds in kind. Working with clay is practicing calm. Breathing into the work helps you stay focused and release nerves. In life, slow down, be intentional, and remember that slow can be fast. Breathe, step back, look at your progress, acknowledge it, and move forward.

Third: Be willing to be bad at it!

Nobody masters pottery—or most skills—on their first try. The first time I put clay on a wheel, all I made was a wobbly blob that barely resembled a bowl. It’s natural to feel frustrated when your vision doesn’t match your current skills. I slowly got better because I dared to stick with it even when I had days where every piece of clay I threw flopped. I kept going. One time, I spent over 20 hours crafting and decorating a ceramic box, only for it to warp in the kiln and get ruined. The other members of the studio looked at me like I was nuts because I didn’t get upset. I told them “Lesson learned. Note to self...I won’t be doing it that way again”. I was able to embrace mistakes as part of the process, commit to my goals and ask for help. Failures can be opportunities to adjust and improve. Success will come with time and tenacity!

Stepping away from the pottery metaphor, many of my clients ask how to improve communication, stay positive, or achieve their goals. The answer? Practice, persistence, and being okay with being “not so great” in the beginning. If fear or anxiety are holding you back from even trying, that’s where therapy comes in to help you process what’s getting in the way. If we’ve never met and you’re reading this, know that I believe in you. People are more alike than you might think, and if it’s possible for one person, it’s possible for you too!

PS: I did end up making another ceramic box. I didn’t spend as long decorating, but it still took over 10 hours. This time the glaze melted and ran in the kiln which glued the lid to the top of the box. OMG! I learned a valuable lesson about applying glaze properly and threw the box away. So, in a way there is a 4th lesson here.... tenacity!